marriage and family

Marriage is truly the only currency of commitment the real world universally understands and accepts.

I’ve been on something of a soapbox regarding gay marriage and other “gay issues.” I know that. I’m not entirely sure why these issues hit closer to home for me than the plight of other (far more) oppressed people around the world. Maybe I should devote my energy to the genocide in Darfur.

But before I do that, I need to get this off my chest: the three primary reasons why arguments against same-sex marriage are baseless and wrong.

Which was inspired by this clever spoof on Apple’s “I’m a Mac” ads.

First: there’s the argument that marriage is a holy union decreed by god to be between a man and a woman. Well, that might very well be. How would I know what god wants? I, unlike many in this country, am not so arrogant to suggest that I know what god wants. At any rate, if it is indeed true that marriage should be between a man and a woman because god said so, that’s a religious argument that people within religious communities should be having. If the Church wants to ban same-sex marriage, that’s not my business because I don’t belong to that Church. But it is certainly not a conversation politicians should be having because of that pesky First Amendment. That is, until the day the risen Jesus himself becomes the elected leader of the United States and declares this to be, in fact, a Christian theocracy I’m going to defend the Constitutionally protected separation of church and state. And if one’s only reason for advocating a ban on same sex marriage is because god said so, you and I need to have a different conversation in a different blog post.

Second: okay okay, we get it. Separation of church and state, blah blah blah. But the real reason why marriage should be between a man and a woman is because, um ,well, you know, marriage has always been between a man and a woman and having a marriage between two women or two men is weird. And it makes a mockery of heterosexual marriage. Yeah, that’s the ticket!

Uh, first of all, marriage has not always been between a man and a woman. Historically, marriage has been between a man and several woman (sometimes the reverse) and usually set up by the parents as a way to (a) sell off the daughter, (b) seal some real estate deal, or (c) secure the continuation of royal blood lines. Love (and the ability to raise happy children) rarely entered into it. So, by all means, let’s take a giant leap into the Bronze Age. That’s a super idea. Then, when we’re done making gay marriage illegal, we’ll take all the gays out and stone them.

And second of all, explain to me how gay marriage is any more an insult to straight marriage than Britney Spears. Don’t get me started on Britney Spears.

Last but not least, the argument against gay marriage is that kids are best raised by a man and a woman. Now, clearly, I have something of a vested interest in making this argument go away since I was raised by a single mother and turned out okay. But I think this argument can go away best if someone would please show me the massive study that was done that showed finally, unequivocally, and scientifically that the children of “non-traditional,” gay, or single parents have all turned out to be unruly meth-addicted prison whores. Because, to the best of my knowledge, that study does not exist. To the best of my knowledge, what keeps kids from becoming unruly meth-adicted prison whores is being raised in an environment where they are made to feel valued and loved. This environment not only includes the parent(s) and family but also the community at large. Extended family. Teachers. The media. And so on.

So let me ask you this: let’s say there’s a kid who was raised by his two mommies in a loving home with a large extended family but every time he goes out the door he hears from the Ted Haggards of the world that his parents are going to hell and he’s going to grow up dysfunctional. How’s that good for the kid?

We as a society need to make all our kids feel valued and loved. Regardless of what their parents are doing between the sheets.

We really need to get over it. What they’re doin’ between the sheets is none of our damn business.

So that’s my soapbox for today.

Since I’ll no doubt be pretty busy for the next week or so, here’s to a happy holiday and best wishes, as always, for the new year.

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