damn it!

So I’m looking at my last entry and thinking to myself, That’s all well and good, Scott, but it’s sort of a dull entry. I mean, it lacks anything particularly insightful or interesting or revelatory. I know no one’s really expecting me to be brilliant all the time, but the entry reads like someone who’s neglected to call his mother in too long and is pretty much riddled with guilt.

What makes it worse is that I just read my brother’s Family Blog and realized that I totally forgot my niece’s first birthday.

Worst. Uncle. Ever.

I know in the grand scheme of things it isn’t the end of the world because it is her first birthday and she lives in San Diego and probably doesn’t have much of an idea of who she is or the importance of birthdays let alone who I am or my relationship to her. It does, I’m sure, matter a helluva lot to my brother and his wife who do have a pretty clear idea of who they are, why birthdays are important, and how I relate to their daughter. So I worry about it. I also worry about it because it’s not the first time I’ve forgotten a family member’s birthday. Or a friend’s for that matter. Truth be told, I’m lousy at birthdays. I don’t know what it is, why I can’t seem to remember them. I even have them written down and my computer sends me little reminders about upcoming events. But I always seem to let these things slip through the cracks. I suck at birthdays. There. I said it.

So I don’t know what to do about that. I guess I ought to make a better effort. Especially where my nieces are concerned. After all, it’s only a matter of time before they’ll start to grow resentful if I keep forgetting. And that’s the last thing I need hanging over my head. Guilt from little kids. Yikes.

In other news, to drastically change the subject. I started teaching again this week. (One of the reasons I’ve been so busy and am lousy at birthdays not that that’s an excuse or justification as much as a mitigating factor but I digress.) And it’s been a while since I’ve been in a classroom. I forgot how hard it is. It’s really exhausting. Surprisingly so. I leave feeling pretty brain dead even though class is only a few hours long.

What it really makes me think about is high school and middle school and grade school teachers. They have it even worse. I mean, Japanese students who are afraid to talk is one thing. Thirty or forty American sixteen year olds? Christ, I don’t even having to teach them and feel they all deserve a pretty big pat on the back!

So. Having said all that, I think I’ll sign off and go call my brother to grovel and let him know that a present is on its way. Well, maybe not literally on its way. But certainly a few days away.