It’s been a helluva month.
I was talking to Dana the other day and said that I feel as though, for the past five or six weeks, I’ve been perpetually ramping up for some big event, the big event happens, and just when I’m ready to relax, some other big unforeseen event rears its head.
It was just a month ago that I defended the Dissertation.
Then Kai got sick. And died suddenly.
And then there was that disastrous class I had to teach last week. And one of our students had appendicitis.
And then we decided that to move. And look for apartments. And finally find one.
One big, transitional thing after another. It never seems to end.
So in the midst of all this, I’ve had a few pretty good blog entries all lined up, ready to go, rolling around in my head. Lord knows, there’s been a lot of really good Buddhist stuff out there to comment on. But, with all that’s been going on, it’s been hard to keep any of these ideas in my head long enough to bring to fruition. So I decided to give up on making any long, brilliant, well-penned blog entries for a bit till things settle down. If only very slightly. I know things never really settle down. I mean, we’ve still got to sign the lease on the new apartment and then we’ll have to move and then something else will come up. But you know what I mean. I think I’ve passed the biggest and most traumatic of the Big Transitional Events. Life, as always, moves inextricably forward.
But what I really wanted to say, what I really want this post to be about, is that I can’t help but feel different. The dissertation was huge. I’ve turned that very important corner in my professional academic career. And losing Kai was rough, no doubt about it. But we’ve been making new routines, new habits, since he left, trying to get used to coming home and not being greeting by him. And when we move, I’ll be moving to a place that will have no memories of Kai attached. Which is pretty big deal when you think of all the places I’ve lived in the past nine years and how each of them was effected by that dog in some way. So things are going to be different. They already are.
And I guess, if nothing else, I’d like to pause for a second and just take all that in. Reflect for a moment on this big set of changes. But I don’t feel like I have the time. There’s still so much to do.
So there’s nothing to be done for it but to jump right in. Here we go.