impending fatherhood

Big exciting news! My wife and I are having a baby!

That, coupled with a lot of other things, is one reason why my writing here has decreased sharply recently. I’ve been distracted. All my bursts of creative energy have been directed elsewhere, and all my joy is coming from things other than winning arguments or popularity contests with strangers on the Internet.

Despite my excitement about our impending parenthood, I am not planning on blogging about it, at least not here. I have the sinking suspicion that whatever regular readers I have left don’t come here because they’re particularly interested in hearing about how a Buddhist changes diapers. (I could be wrong, and if I am, let me know. Might not change anything, but it would be good to know.) I’m sure there’s lots of people out there who are interested, in some general (or even immediate and practical) sense, in the broad topic of Buddhism and parenthood; and I have a lot of respect and admiration for folks who do blog about parenting from a Buddhist point of view or otherwise. But the fact of the matter is that my identity is pretty much a matter of public record in this space, and while I’ve chosen to expose myself to the slings and arrows of the Internet, my family hasn’t. So if I do decide to write about my experiences of parenthood — Buddhist or otherwise — I’m going to have to go underground.

Much more to the point, I am not at all sure whether or not my wife and I are even going to raise our child “Buddhist” — whatever the hell that means — in the first place. My own relationship to my practice is complicated; my wife isn’t a Buddhist. But Buddhism is an important, ever-present aspect of my life; it rubs off on most people I come into contact with regardless of my intentions. It’ll rub off on my children. These are big questions I don’t have answers to, and I’m sure they’d make for interesting reading. In fact, these are the kinds of questions I wish the Big Glossy Buddhists Mags would take up in an honest and non-condescending way. And it’s as good a reason as any to write about my experiences as a parent. But I’m not sure if I’m up to it. Ah well.

At any rate, I can only imagine that this fundamental change in my life is going to have an impact on this blog. I’m not at all sure what I want to do with this space: part of me wants to dust off the digital dust and breathe new life into it; another part of me wants to walk away as non-melodramatically as possible. I suspect that I’ll be re-imagining it in the weeks ahead, moving some stuff around, and turning it into more of a professional calling card of sorts. I don’t know. But I do know this: I’m still around the Internets, I’m still working diligently on all that professional development stuff, and you can be sure that you haven’t heard the last of me.

One final thing: like I said in my last post, I want to send some love and compassion out into the world. I still firmly believe — despite how many assholes there are in the world, despite all evidence to the contrary — I still believe in the basic goodness of people, or at least in their potentiality to tap into that goodness and ability to create a better world. And if I’m serious about this, if I’m serious about love and compassion being effective tools for change, then I’ve got to act on that instinct. So. Metta all around.

4 thoughts on “impending fatherhood

  1. Hey congrats! Fatherhood really is a life-changing experience and worth every moment. I really miss that first year now that my little one is now 4, but she’s blossomed quite a bit too. Makes Internet popularity contests seem kind of retarded, when you think about it.

  2. Wishing you and your wife all the best in this new phase of your life.

    It would be interesting to hear how you adjust to it but with things as they are it is quite understandable why you wouldn’t want to expose your loved ones to some of the nonsense that goes on by those who have no understanding of boundaries.

    The Buddhist magazines. Perhaps a parenting issue of Prapañca? Tho no doubt you will be too busy with actual parenting and preparation for that.

    Hope you do check in here once in a while though.

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